Insomnia ...

It's amazing to me that, what we celebrated as kids, we bemoan as adults.  As a child - think teens into early twenties - I could stay up forever.  Not days without end, of course, but two, maybe three hours' sleep, and I was golden the next day.  Now, when sleeplessness hits me - as it seems to have a wont to do when stress rears its ever so familiar head - I am a walking zombie.

I've tried sleep aids, p.m. pain relievers, herbal teas.  And, while each of them have their merit, the body soon becomes immune to their subtle tricks, and reverts to its old habits.

That of not sleeping.

Or rather, that of sleeping for about two hours, and declaring it ENOUGH!  Would that it were ...

So tonight, as the day washes through my mind and I reflect on what I accomplished (creative writing on demand blog of Alec & Isobele continued, check; walk taken with daughter and dogs, check; kitchen cleaned, check; all work completed, check), I'm feeling it's a rather good day.  In fact, it's about spot on perfect for what I had stated I wanted to accomplish.

See, Jordan, my roommate of the past two years, who just happens to be my much-beloved daughter, is moving out.  She's spreading her wings, as any eaglet should, and is going to fly away to her own tree.  A tree we fondly call La-La Land, aka Los Angeles.  Only a few hours down the freeway, and a few light years removed from where I live now.

And each time I try and focus on 'what next' for my life, I get caught back up in the fact that Jordan is moving.  So, as sleep approaches, I can almost hear the gerbils talking to one another, rather like Calvin's alter-egos speak as he sleeps, planning out his dreams.  Only my gerbils don't want me to dream, oh, no.  They want to give me these thoughts, worries, angst-ridden moments, while on the cusp of sleep, so that even as my body begs for rest, my mind whirls like the Tasmania Devil himself.  The Bugs Bunny Taz, of course.

Rather than try an old sleep aid whose effectiveness has worn off, I'm trying something new.  A quick blog, with my Scottish music by Steve McDonald, playing softly, only candlelight in the bedroom, the windows open for the breeze and the one-note (according to my very musically inclined daughter) wind chime which hangs from the oak singing softly in the breeze; a quick interlude for a warm, steamy shower to relax the body even further, and then back into the sheets, where I will play a few mind-numbing games of Solitaire (don't even MENTION Angry Birds to me...), and at last turn off my music and, gods be willing and pillows be soft, I will sleep.


That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.  Good night, y'all.